My ‘Good Client’ Guide
Whether you're experienced or new to seeing a sex worker, the answers to these questions will help make our time together more mutually enjoyable and comfortable.
Please note, this etiquette guide is tailored specifically for interactions with me and may differ from other sex workers’ preferences.
Making contact with me for the first time;
When reaching out for the first time, please refrain from sharing descriptors about yourself like "white," "fit," or "clean from STIs." Such information is not only irrelevant but can also perpetuate harmful stereotypes and assumptions. I want to emphasise that I value generosity, kindness and respect above all else. It matters less to me how you look, your age, or your background, and more about the connection we share.
Questions to never ask a sex worker…
They say "there’s no harm in asking," but sometimes inappropriate questions can be harmful. While I value open communication and honesty with my clients, there are some questions I'm not comfortable answering because they carry stigma, even if that's not your intention.
-
I find the question "Is seeing a sex worker safe?" in itself offensive, as it carries an assumption that sex workers are inherently risky or potential sources of harm. In reality, we face more risks from clients than clients do from us. This includes potential risks to our physical and emotional well-being, as well as the legal and social stigmas and discrimination associated with our profession. At the end of the day, sex workers are professionals who prioritise both our own health and safety, as well as that of our clients.
It's essential to recognise that no sexual activity is 100% risk-free when it comes to STI/BBV (Sexually Transmitted Infections/Blood-Borne Viruses). However, sex workers in decriminalised jurisdictions have lower rates of transmission than the general population. This is due to the implementation of safer-sex strategies, regular voluntary testing, and a deeper understanding of STI/BBV identification, transmission and prevention compared to the general public.
-
Inquiring about personal negative experiences, especially in the context of sex work, is deeply invasive. You shouldn’t be asking anybody a question like that - full stop. Such questions push sex workers to recall traumatic events or experiences, essentially asking us to relive potential trauma. This is not only inappropriate but can be emotionally harmful. Remember that bad experiences exist for all people, regardless of their profession, and everyone deserves the dignity of privacy concerning their personal and professional experiences.
-
I appreciate the sentiment behind wanting to establish a connection that is more personal. However, I have a fulfilling personal life with a beautiful partner, wonderful friends and loved ones. Asking to meet up as 'friends' or on an unpaid basis indicates to me that you don’t think I have people in my life that already meet these needs. It can also be perceived as not fully respecting the boundaries and professional context of our interaction. It tells me that you don’t think sex work is work, and that’s pretty offensive to me.
-
While it's great to be proactive about sexual health and understand the associated risks, requesting to see my sexual health results or asking for them can be offensive and stigmatising. This implies a misconception that sex workers are inherently "dirty," which is far from the truth. In fact, sex workers typically maintain a higher level of sexual health awareness and safer practices, resulting in consistently lower rates of STI/BBV transmission compared to the general public.
Please refrain from bringing your STI test results to the appointment or using stigmatising language like "clean" when referring to STIs. Such actions can be misinterpreted as a request for uncovered services, which I do not provide.
A question I find especially hurtful, is “Do you get a lot of ugly/gross clients?”
It's so offensive whenever I am asked this question, as it is rooted in harmful stereotypes about sex workers and our clients. The assumption that sex workers only see clients who are "leftovers" or the "bottom of the barrel" is not only disrespectful to our clients but also devalues our profession.
Equating someone's worth with their physical appearance is shallow and misguided. Everyone, regardless of any physical attribute, deserves respect. My reality is that many young, conventionally attractive people, often celebrated by societal standards, are the ugliest to me because they are often entitled due to inflated egos or self-centred attitudes. I'm in this profession because I believe in the value of human connection and intimacy, which goes beyond superficial judgments. This is why appearance is never an indicator of attractiveness for me - behaviour is.
Respect my rates
As sex workers, we set our prices with care and consideration. While it might be common in some industries to negotiate or haggle, this does not apply here. Haggling in the sex industry is not only inappropriate but also disrespectful. Asking for discounts or attempting to negotiate my rates will result in the termination of our potential meeting.
What should I do if I recognise you in public?
My approach to public interactions may not be the same for all sex workers. In fact, I’d say my feelings about this are the ‘exception’ and not the rule. As a general rule of thumb, it's best to respect your sex worker’s privacy and avoid approaching them in public unless they've indicated otherwise.
However, if you happen to recognise me in a public setting, feel free to approach and say hello (if I’m alone). I always appreciate friendly interactions with clients. With that said, please be mindful of the context and those around us. If I'm with other people or in the middle of something, please give me space and don’t approach me. On the other hand, if I see you in public - I will always wait until you approach me, and I will never approach you first. Your privacy is important to me.
While I'm very open about my profession, it's essential to maintain discretion about sex work or the context in which we know each other in public spaces. Please refrain from discussing my work as a sex worker or sharing details of our personal experiences together within earshot of others.
Etiquette within a booking…
-
When you book me independently or through Bliss, you can expect punctuality on my end. However, if you arrive late for our scheduled time, please note that this will cut into your allocated booking time. Conversely, should I be late, I will extend the session for the agreed-upon time length to ensure you receive the full experience you’ve booked.
-
When it comes to grooming, I don't expect a completely hair-free zone, but please be mindful of the services you request and the logistics involved. For instance, sharp stubble can be painful during kissing, and excessive pubic hair may make certain services uncomfortable or unappealing. I reserve the right to decline or modify services if hygiene or grooming is not up to my standard. Additionally, please wash your hair at home before our session. I enjoy the sensation of running my fingers through soft, clean hair—not greasy locks.
-
I expect all clients, whether booking through Bliss or independently, to arrive reasonably fresh and body-odour-free. However, it's essential that you shower at the start of the booking, regardless of how "clean" you claim to be on arrival. At Bliss, this initial shower is not deducted from your booking time, whereas independently, it is. Take your time and ensure you thoroughly clean your genitals with soap, including pulling back the foreskin and/or cleaning your inner labia - whatever is applicable. Don't forget to wash your butt and underarms, apply deodorant, and freshen your breath with mouthwash or a mint.
If I find that you're not maintaining proper hygiene, such as having smegma or emitting unpleasant odours, I will either ask you to return to the shower or cancel the booking altogether. Remember, good hygiene not only shows respect but also encourages closer and more intimate experiences.
-
You must settle the bill upfront, at the beginning of the booking (minus the $200 deposit if you booked independently). No need for an envelope; I'll count the money in front of you. This practice ensures accuracy for the both of us. Please understand that this is a standard process in the sex industry and is not meant to cause offence.
At Bliss, payments can be made directly to the venue via cash or EFTPOS machine. Please note that the venue applies a 10% card fee. An ATM is also available on-site for cash withdrawals. While tips can be paid via card through Bliss, I prefer receiving them directly in cash.
-
Respecting my boundaries is paramount to our mutual enjoyment and comfort. Please familiarise yourself with the services I do and don’t offer, as listed on my rates page. Sometimes I’m open to offering other services, but you will need to ask in advance. If I decline, continuing to ask for such services is disrespectful, disruptive to our session and I will cancel the booking (without a refund).
-
At the conclusion of our session, I set aside five to ten minutes (included in your booked time) to shower and get dressed. If we're meeting at Bliss, it's crucial that we respect the allocated time, swiftly dress, and exit the room. This ensures the space is available for other workers and clients. When booking my services independently, I'm more flexible with time, allowing for relaxed conversation post-session, as I typically see only one client per day.
All about pleasure…
My pleasure
While it's important to me that our time together is enjoyable, me having an orgasm isn't a requirement for our session. My main focus is on your experience. However, if it genuinely excites you to see me enjoying myself, that's a different story. In such cases, pay attention to what I like and to follow my lead. I understand my body best, and your willingness to listen and adapt will make our time together more enjoyable for both of us. It's also worth noting that pleasure comes in various forms. An orgasm isn't the only measure of a satisfying experience. Whether or not either of us reaches that point doesn't necessarily define the quality of our time together.
Your ‘performance’
For those concerned about performance—be it maintaining an erection, climaxing too quickly, or not at all—I want to reassure you that it's okay. I actually hate the word ‘performance’, it has undertones of sex and intimacy being a ‘show’ or something that you’re rated on. Your body's responses are natural, and there's no need to apologise. Open communication at the start of our time together helps set realistic expectations and ensures we can tailor our session.
Withholding an ‘orgasm’
I monitor the time in our session to ensure our experience flows smoothly. Please avoid holding back an orgasm to extend our time together. Doing so risks ending our session without you achieving an orgasm at all. Constantly checking the clock or trying to overly manage our time together can disrupt the natural flow of our experience. Trust in the process and allow me to guide our time together.
I am not responsible for ensuring you achieve an orgasm. If you don’t reach orgasm during our session, it's not a reflection of my performance, nor is it a guaranteed outcome of our service. Please note that refunds will not be provided based on this, or any criterion.
Professional boundaries
While I deeply value the time we spend together and genuinely appreciate our connection, please acknowledge that our relationship is transactional in nature. I am in a committed, monogamous relationship with my partner. The fact that my partner isn't a man doesn't diminish the authenticity or validity of our relationship. My professional interactions with clients remain separate from my personal life. While I cherish the moments we share during our sessions, they cannot encroach upon or replace the relationship I have with my family, partner or friends.
Communication between sessions
Please respect my time between our dates and refrain from excessive messaging, including casual chats and/or explicit content.
With that said, an occasional message about something that reminds you of our time together is always appreciated. I often find myself thinking of my clients in a similar manner, and sometimes send a little text. However, if you'd prefer not to receive such messages from me due to privacy concerns, please let me know.
If there's a delay in my response or if I'm not actively engaging in conversation, it doesn't reflect my feelings towards you. Remember, I genuinely value our time together; otherwise, I wouldn't continue our professional relationship.
What can I do to make my booking with you more accessible?
Thanks so much for asking! To ensure our time together is as seamless and enjoyable as possible, please consider the following when booking with me:
Communication: I'm Deaf, so speaking directly to my face, so I can see your lips is essential. While there's no need to alter your speaking pace or tone, keeping background music at a moderate volume will help me focus on our conversation.
Contact: Please only reach out to me via text or email. Please don’t call me!